* Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
* The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
That insignificant 40 lb weight gain in 3 days?!?
* She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
Snickering...c'mon I can't help it!!
* The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
* The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
* Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
* The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
* Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.
* She is numb from her toes down.
* While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 1:55 PM
Maybe I should file this under "OMG you have to be kidding?!?!"
MORRISVILLE - When Morrisville police officer Chris Gill handed him a ticket, Kent Kauffman coughed. Next thing Kauffman knew, Gill was charging him with assault on a government official.
Gill contends Kauffman intentionally coughed on him three times. According to Gill’s report, Kauffman looked into the officer’s eyes before “hacking” in his face, Morrisville spokeswoman Stacie Galloway said Wednesday.
Kauffman acknowledges that he coughed two or three times from the window of his Dodge minivan Tuesday but said it was toward Gill’s waist.
“He says I coughed in his face,” Kauffman said. “But that would only work if he had a 4-foot-long face.”
Kauffman said that Gill cuffed him and threw him into the side of the patrol car, and that he ended up on the ground.
“It knocked the wind out of me,” he said. “He kept yelling at me to get up. I told him, ‘I can’t move, man, I’m sick.’ “
Kauffman, an accountant for Accountemps in Chapel Hill, said he developed a cough after his dog, Blair, died of kidney failure last week. He said he was still stricken Tuesday but went to work because he needed the cash.
Kauffman was traveling on McCrimmon Parkway just after 8 a.m. when Gill pulled him over for not wearing a seat belt. Gill charged Kauffman with a Class misdemeanor. If convicted, he could spend up to 60 days in jail.
… A Wake County judge will decide the intent behind Kauffman’s cough.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 3:25 AM
It never ceases to amaze me just how crazy thing have got to be to make a Law to stop people from doing something rediculous or foolish, or a warning needs to be placed on something because someone went and got stupid and did something for which it was never intended.
Do you know there are LAWS on the books that cover things such as:
Alabama: * It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. * It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
Normally it takes more than one time to make a law, so you can imagine there has been more than a few incidents of fake mustache wearing and blindfolded driving in Alabama!
Florida: * Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. * Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Ok, I can understand a cross-dresser in these times, but sex with a porupine??!?!? Just which one is the prick?
Kansas: * Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.
Dang those pesky rabbits, who knew they could swim! I have hunted before and did my fair share of tracking rabbits and other game animals, but I will be damned if I ever had to get a boat to keep hunting it...[chuckles]
Louisiana: * It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Wow, you would think that robbing the bank itself would be the illegal part..[laughs]
New York: * A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
* The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
Now the first one I can understand, and probably most women would say, damn straight, my man be gawking at another woman on the street he won't need horse blinders, he gonna need a doctor!
But the second one?!?!? Normally people who jump off buildings fall to thier death anyways!
Ohio: * It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
Leave it to someone in Ohio to waste alcohol by getitng fish drunk. C'mere, lil' fishy buddy, come have a drinky with me.
Texas: * It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
Read it again - you MUST have windshield wipers, but you don't need the windshield!!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 9:19 PM
I know, I shouldn't sit around and contemplate things if it gets this strange, but it still has me wondering....
Why do we have eyebrows?
What purpose do they serve?
Everything on your body serves a purpose or a function of some sort.
Eyes - you see with. Nose - you smell with. Tongue - You taste with. Nerves - you feel with.
ect. ect. ect.
But what about eyebrows? What purpose do they serve?!?!?
A little research shows the following....
Scientists aren't entirely sure why we kept this hair, but they have a pretty good guess. We know that eyebrows help keep moisture out of our eyes when we sweat or walk around in the rain. The arch shape diverts the rain or sweat around to the sides of our face, keeping our eyes relatively dry. The most obvious advantage of this is that it lets us see clearly when we're sweating a lot or out in the rain. Without eyebrows, getting around in these conditions is a little more difficult. The shape of your brow itself diverts a certain amount of moisture, but eyebrows make a significant difference in your ability to see. Diverting the sweat away is also good because the salt in sweat irritates the eyes, making them sting a little.
There are a number of ways these qualities might have helped early man survive. Being able to see more clearly in the rain could certainly help you find shelter, and there are several circumstances when keeping the sweat out of your eyes could save your life. If you were trying to outrun a predator, for example, it's a good bet there would be a lot sweat running down your face. If all that sweat flowed right down into your eyes, you wouldn't be able to see that well, and your eyes would be irritated, which would certainly impair your ability to escape! Because of this slight survival advantage, nature would most likely select for humans with eyebrows over humans without eyebrows.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 9:46 AM
It has been six years since this awful tragedy of murder and terrorism invaded our shores, it was a day where everyone stopped what they were doing and stared in disbelief at the images being shown to us over the televisions, the news, the radio, or in person.
It has been six years, and it should not lessen our resolve to make sure it never happens again, nor should we ever stop remembering what happened, or forget those that lost thier lives that dreadful day.
Take a moment out of your day to say a prayer for healing to those many that have been affected by this. Take a moment to remember the fallen, and the families that still grieve.
Is a moment too much to ask?
...to stop and remember?
to bow our heads....
...to take a moment out of our busy schedules.... ...to think of everyone affected by this during our busy day.
