Taking a Sanity Break

He Said, She Said

2007-01-30T19:13:00.000-05:00

Words Women Use / Say and what they really mean:

1.) FINE:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “fine”.

4.) Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever:
Is a women’s way of saying SCREW YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong,” and for the woman’s response to that, refer to # 3.

10.) CAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, ever again.

11.) I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
… without you in it.

12.) DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven’t had a fight in a while.

13.) NO, PIZZA’S FINE.
… you cheap slob!

14.) I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.

15.) I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can’t believe you have nothing planned.

16.) COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.

17.) I LIKE YOU, BUT…
I don’t like you.

18.) OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
… just not in that way.

19.) YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

20.) WE’RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
I’m not pursuing this relationship until I am positive I can’t do any better than you.

21.) I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.

22.) I NEED NEW SHOES.
The other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade.

23.) I HEARD A NOISE.
I noticed you were almost asleep.

24.) DO YOU LOVE ME?
I'm going to ask for something expensive.

25.) HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?
I did something today you're really going to hate.

26.) IT'S YOUR DECISION.
The correct decision should be obvious by now.

26.) YOU'RE SO MANLY.
You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

27.) THIS KITCHEN IS SO INCONVIENENT.
I want a new house.

28.) DO YOU LIKE THIS RECIPE?
It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

29.) I'M SORRY.
You'll be sorry!

30.) I WAS WRONG.
Not as wrong as you!

31.) ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
Too late, you're dead!

What a Man says and what he REALLY means....

1.) I’M HUNGRY.
I’m hungry

2.) I’M TIRED.
I’m tired

3.) DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE?
I’d eventually like to have sex with you

4.) CAN I TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER?
I’d eventually like to have sex with you

5.) WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?
I’d eventually like to have sex with you

6.) CAN I CALL YOU SOMETIME?
I’d eventually like to have sex with you

7.) NICE DRESS!
Nice cleavage!

8.) YOU LOOK TENSE, LET ME GIVE YOU A MASSAGE.
I want to fondle you

9.) "LET'S TALK"
I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then we can get down to business

10.) "WHAT'S WRONG"
I don’t see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

11.) YOU LOOK UPSET.
I guess sex tonight is out of the question

12.) "I LOVE YOU, TOO"
Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now!

13.) YES, I LOVE YOUR NEW HAIRSTYLE.
I liked it better before

14.) YES, YOUR HAIRCUT LOOKS GOOD.
$50 and it doesn’t even look different!

15.) I LIKED THE FIRST DRESS YOUR TRIED ON BETTER.
Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go!

16.) "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

17.) "I'M GOING FISHING"
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

18.) "LET'S TAKE YOUR CAR"
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

19.) "MY WIFE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME"
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

20.) "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
"I have no idea how it works."

21.) "I'M GETTING MORE EXECISE LATELY"
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

22.) "I GOT A LOT DONE"
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

23.) "HONEY, WE DON'T NEED MATERIAL THINGS TO PROVE OUR LOVE."
"I forgot our anniversary again."

24.) "THAT'S WOMEN'S WORK"
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

25.) "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS"
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

26.) "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

27. "I HEARD YOU"
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

28. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

29. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

30. "I MISSED YOU"
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

31. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WEHRE WE ARE."
"No one will ever see us alive again."

32. "I DON'T NEED TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS."
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

33. "I'LL TAKE YOU TO A FANCY RESTARAUNT."
Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

Catch up on what tiggerprr's scratching post has to offer....

Her latest is The Foo, A Goody Exchange and Other Random Stuff.

Don't forget to read her latest run up of the Fox TV show 24.

Memories

2007-01-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

Memories......

One such is Korea, seems like so far away....has it really been 17 years ago when I was in Korea?

I think I was, what...hmmm, 19 or 20 years old here in this picture.

Yes, I realize that is not regulation head gear, not unless the Army adpoted No Beer, No Work" as normal head gear for soldiers. [chuckles]

Ungh, do you realize I could drink most adults under the table and then some at age 19 just from being in Korea? There was not that much to do when your base is so close to the DMZ and out in the boonies. At 20 years old, after I got back to the States, my next duty station ended up being Fort Campbell, KY and I met up with a buddy of mine that just got back from Turkey...between the both of us, we drank 13 pitchers of beer.

2nd Infantry Division.

Man I was so proud to wear that patch, it was like a badge of honor.

I guess it was party cause I am part Indian myself, it felt like fate I suppose.

Ah, too funny, ran across someone from the Silver Star Outlaws in Korea, seems this person built a website for those in '97. I can probably add pictures from my day in '90, by the way, I had 2 names, "Roo" and "Shutterbug". I was always taking pictures...[chuckles]

Silver Star Outlaws was a Korean Bar outside of Camp Casey (pictured above), which was about 2 hours east of where I was stationed at Camp Edwards. The Korean city was Dongducheon, or commonly referred to us as, the TDC.

Hmmm, doing a little searching ran me into a few more Silver Star Outlaw member sites, Brians' page has some pics of the bar and a few Silver Star Outlaws.

Definately a special group. A home away from home.

Hmmm, doing a little more research seeing if I can find more pictures on the net to show you, found that Camp Edwards seems to have been closed and given back to South Korea.

Well, I will see if I can dig up some of the "interesting" pictures of what soldiers do when off duty...and post some of them. [laughs]

Meanwhile head on over to my Tenant and go check out her blog.

Go on, you know your curious...c'mon click it.....

Need to make sure she gets her moneys worth and I do so try......

What is wrong with some people....

2007-01-15T03:27:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile and I decided to check out who is coming and going through my blog on sitemeter when I ran across this "search" that brought up my blog....why I have no idea....

Referring URL: http://www.google.co...g daughters privates
Search Engine: google.com
Search Words: caught neighbor boy kissing daughters privates

Was it because I have a daughter (Drama Queen) and I talk about her? Where the kissing and privates came from I don't know...but....ungh...do not come here please.

Thank you google for making my post sound raunchy and sexual...ungh.
I looked at what the search brought up and this is what google cached on my post:

Taking a Sanity Break: December 2006
I have seen little boys kiss a girl on a cheek, I have seen two little girls ... and responsibilities on children who know that their privates are for going ...
breakinsanity.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_breakinsanity_archive.html - 95k -

Way to make what I was writing sound sexual about children....[sighs]

Well here is an interesting one:

Referring URL: http://search.blogge...=blg&q=sexual sanity
Search Engine: search.blogger.com
Search Words: sexual sanity

Hmm that was a search done through Blogger itself, which brought up this post from my blog:

Taking Politically Correct too far
21 Dec 2006 by Break from Sanity
The incident was described as "sexual harassment" on the school form. School officials consider a student's age and ... Fifteen of those suspensions were for sexual harassment. ... Children do not think of sexual harrassment, adults do. ...

Interesting what mixes of words will bring up.

What else can I find people searching for that come up with my blog.......

Hmmm, this one I can fully understand:

Referring URL http://www.google.co...c &btnG=Search&meta=
Search Engine google.com.au
Search Words lower back sores after chiropractic

Since I did a few detailed posts and charts on what has happened to my back (I am still recovering) and how much pain I was in, I feel for you (person searching) if you are going through problems with your back. It is nothing to take lightly. You take for granted bending over to put on or tie your shoes...until you can't.

Hmm, a few minor news searches on "leg buckling" (related to what I wrote about my back problem) and another news search on a Walmart break in, related to an earlier posting I wrote probably about shopping at Walmart during Christmas.

Other searches noticed:

Luxury yachts: Oh boy, you picked the wrong section. I have a plastic toy boat though if you really want one....

Dance fads of the 1970s: Ummm, that would be DISCO. C'mon, you know you want to sing it....IN THE NAVY....or how about ....MACHO MACHO MAN...[chuckles]

[Rolling on the floor laughing at the moment.....]

Bengay smell: Ok, c'mon...you were searching for a Bengay SMELL? Scratch and Sniff? [laughs]

TAKING ME FOR STUPID: Yes, that is exactly how the search was typed out, and it looks to be that the searcher was ANGRY. Funny thing is, my blog post was 1st up on the hit that search got. [chuckles]

Save me from stupidity: Funny, same post as the "TAKING ME FOR STUPID" search came up number one again.

I should check out who is out there searching and hitting my blog. Makes for a quick chuckle here and there.

A Gift or a Curse?

2006-12-09T22:52:00.000-05:00

I am a big fan of the new TV show "Heroes."

It goes beyond what I have normally seen on movies where we only have a little bit of background on the newly emerging hero, most likely due to time constraints of the movie itself, where it does jump right into the fight, newly attained super-powers blazing away. No, Heroes takes it deeper inside and delves deeper inside what it means to be a hero; how they feel, the trials and tribulations they go through figuring out their powers, their confusion, how it turns their life upside down, the freedom it gives them at times, and how scary it is for them.

The only super hero movie that came close was Spiderman, which gave us glimpses of the background and how he went through things in his life, but nothing of major substance, again, most likely because of movie time constraints.

There was a short-lived tv show called "The Greatest American Hero" that was probably the best in trying to portrait the fumbling and bumbling through trying to figure out his "super-powers", which in this case came from the suit itself:

Los Angeles high school teacher Ralph Hinkley encountered an alien spacecraft while on a desert field trip and was presented with a red costume with unique superpowers. The suit looked like a pair of tight fitting red pajamas with a black cape and bestowed fantastic powers (flight, incredible speed, telekinesis, clairvoyance, invisibility, invulnerability from bullets and super strength) to this blond, mild-mannered high school teacher. The aliens had chosen Hinkley because he matched their profile of someone having the qualities of "moral character, idealism and integrity."

Unfortunately, before Ralph got the hang of the suit's abilities, he lost the instruction book that came with it. He spent the rest of the series clumsily fighting evil as he tried to unlock the many mysteries of this extraterrestrial costume.

But with Heroes, we are given several individuals who are slowly being drawn together (masterfully worked), they are discovering their powers, confusion is the most prevalent reaction as they try and figure out what is happening to themselves, from the teenage cheerleader that can't seem to be killed or hurt (story revolves around her - "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World") to the Japenese man who can freeze time and travel through it (realizing also at this point he hits and misses when traveling) and learning of their own responsibilities that they are becoming aware of.

This is definately a show I have become hooked on. It is well put together, draws you into the lives of the characters and what they are going through, the feelings, decisions and paths they take.

The show revloves around the theme "Save the Cheerleader - Save the World", in which the cheerleader who cannot seem to be hurt or die (she has fallen off buildings, burned herself, even had a branch stuck through her neck to heal it all back to normal), is some how linked to a disaster that is soon to happen five weeks in the future, where a terrible explosion (nuclear by the looks of it) blows up the city.

Which brings me to the my current thoughts......

If you had a super power, what would you "prefer" to have (we never get what we truly would like - it just doesn't work that way) and how do you think you would handle learning about your power (practicing with it, testing it), and do you think it would be a gift, or a curse?

Think of Invisibility...
Many would think it would be great to have no one see you. Think of the things you could do or see when no one knew you were there. But also think of the movie the Invisible Man / Hollow Man where he found he could not return back and be seen again. What would it do to YOUR mind?

There is an episode of the Twilight Zone I believe that dealt with this also, where a man was able to turn himself Invisible, and caused all sorts of trouble. He was invisible and forgot that he was and was struck by a truck while crossing the street because the truck did not see him. He laid by the side of the road dying, still invisible, while many remarked on how bad the area was beginnning to stink.

So, where some would say this power of invisibility would be great, and neat, I doubt the two above would consider it so, in fact, it might have been a curse to them instead.

Perhaps Flying?

How would you test it?

As you got braver and flew, aside from being so far up in the air, and being probably scared out of your mind since we as human beings normally fly in machines (airplanes) or have parachutes to cushion us as we waft back to earth on the breezes; what would you do if you lost your concentration, your fear took over and you were no longer able to fly - while being a thousand feet in the air?

I remarked on another blog that posted a similiar question about how I would love to be able to breathe underwater and to withstand the crushing depths of the ocean so I could explore a whole new world that has never been explored before.

But what would happen if at such depths that ability faded? Or if I found out that I no longer could walk on land again, but only could breathe in the water and not air? Would it be such a great thing or a curse?

What makes something great can easily be turned into a curse.

But just remember that the flip is true, what may feel like a curse, could be a gift in disguise.

Go check out my tenant, Self-Proclaimed Supermom, and see what she has been up to.

She only has 10 hours left as my tenant as of this posting, so head on over there and peruse through her blog and see what she is about.

The quick story moments

2006-09-22T19:59:00.000-04:00

Just for giggles I thought I would write a few quick paragraphs for fun, on just whatever passed through my head at the time to see how well I could do.

Enjoy.

She sat across from me on the blanket we spread across the misted, green grass. Her hair fluttered around her head like a halo, light mist glittering in each strand making her hair seemingly filled with sparkling diamonds.

The mist drifts up from the waterfall crashing into the pool ten feet below; the rumble of the constant rush of water as it crashes down to the pool fills our ears as we laugh with delight......

Another?

I was running out of air.

I could feel the air in my lungs yearning, no, more like burning for release, to flee from my chest wildly and to suck in a great lung-full of fresh air...

I dared not, could not, it would mean certain death by drowning if I allowed this burning need, so I clamped my lips together tightly, my chest hot with desire for breath as I struggled toward the surface.

It is so dark this deep that I can barely make out my hands in front of my face as I frantically struggle upward.

So cold.....

I can't... I don't know if I can...

Is that a light?

Are my eyes playing tricks on me?

My chest is screaming or is it myself screaming behind my tightly clamped lips? I don't know, but I know I won't last much longer.

Please God, let that be the surface....

Please...

Another?

"Where the hell is he?", I mutter to myself.

He was suppose to go in, grab a pack of smokes and be right back.

I stare at the small party store, grumbling at how long he is taking, when he bursts out of the door like the demons of Hell were on right on his tail.

He sees me staring slack-jawed at his exit from the store, and yells, "GO! GO! GO! WE NEED TO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE NOW! MOOOOOVE IT!"

Not knowing what is going on, but knowing urgency when I hear it, my mind kicks into automatic as I shove the car in gear, tires smoking on the pavement, just as he dives into the backseat.

Tearing out of the parking lot and onto the road, I spare a moment to cast my gaze into the backseat where I see him sitting up and a sudden chill spreads up my spine as I say, "What did you do?"

He leans his head back resting it on back of the seat, slowly blowing out the smoke from the cigarette he just lit, and starts to laugh. He continues to stare at the ceiling of the car and chuckling saying, "Man, you should have seen your face when I came bursting out the door like that. What? You think I robbed the place or something?"

[laughter from the backseat]

"I just wanted to put some excitement into your life", he says as I grit my teeth.

"I bet your heart is beating a hundred times a minute right now, eh?", he says as he chuckles some more from the backseat.

I glare into the rearview mirror at him and say, "Remind me to beat you senseless when we stop next...."

Give or take 15 minutes, perhaps a bit more, cause I was dealing with the kids at the same time, is all it took to throw this together off the top of my head.

This was not pre-planned.
I decided to try and write from scratch, and just go with a idea or two here or there to write a little bit off the spur of the moment.

Hope you enjoyed.

As always, don't forget to visit my tenant, Beth at Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind. We all need readership.

Trying to find the laughter in today

2006-09-21T15:43:00.000-04:00

Ah humor, where have you gone...

It has been a trying day, starting even before waking up as I had a hard time trying to sleep. It must have been the midnight shift effect kicking in. Well from there it was downhill as soon as I woke up.

Frustrating to say the least.

I will try and find where I hid my funny bone and scratch up a few laughs, a giggle or two, maybe even a guffaw...and maybe a snort for those who snort while laughing (but don't want to admit it).

Speaking of scratching....Do you remember the old scratch and sniffs? I wonder where I can get some of them...I think the kids would LOVE them!

Funny things seen on T-shirts:

(On the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off.
(Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah.
If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Think nobody knows you're alive? Try missing a payment.
And your cry baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
A.S.A.P. means Always Say A Prayer.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
All Men Are Animals. Some Just Make Better Pets.
Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
If you scratch your rear, don’t bite your fingernails.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation... I wonder if that means...?
Germs attack people where they are weakest. This explains the number of head colds.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it limits.
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
I'll try being nicer if you will try being smarter.

Here is one just for Diana Joy, she will appreciate this one:

Scientists

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed "God." So they picked one of their number to go and tell Him (God) that they were done with Him.

The selected scientist walked up to God and said: "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone humans, and do many other seemingly 'miraculous' things. So, why don't you just go and get lost. ...No offense, you understand. We just don't need you anymore."

God listened very patiently to the scientist, and after the scholar was finished talking, God said: "Very well, let's say we have a man-making contest." The scientist thought for a moment, then reluctantly agreed to the challenge. But we're going to do it just like I did back in the old days, with Adam," God added.

The scientist said, "Sure, we'll take a crack at it," and he bent down to scoop up some soil.

"O no," God commanded, as he motioned for the scientist to stop. "I'm afraid you're going to have to make your own dirt!"

As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

Ok, I hope this cracked a smile on your face.

Let's see if it makes my day any better.......

Don't forget to visit my tenant, Beth at Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.

Driver's License Identity Theft

2006-09-18T06:28:00.000-04:00

I have been reading more of this, as there has been a nationwide theft of identity by a multi-part identity theft ring. They have caught several members with several THOUSAND fake driver's licenses and other documents related to the identity theft of thousands of Americans.

To check and see if your identity has been compromised, The National Motor Vehicle License Bureau has set up a database of the confiscated Driver's Licenses and you can see if yours is in their database by clicking the link above.

Scary thought that this is happening, and how many people seemed to have had their identities compromised and stolen.

Mine wasn't in there, but I encourage you to check and make sure yours is not also. I will continue to check every couple of days to make sure that mine still has not been added.

Freshman Coed Letter to her Father

2006-09-18T01:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Dad:

I don't know what you have heard, but please don't worry -- I get the stitches out later today, and the doctor says the scars will heal fine. He was amazed that a person could jump out of a third-story window and have so few injuries. That was one of the hardest things I will ever have to do -- you know, choosing between a burning dorm, or jumping 30 feet onto a concrete sidewalk.

I can't wait for you to meet Paul. He's the one who nursed me back to health after my accident. It was really nice of him to let me share his apartment, with my dorm burning down and all. Now, don't get the wrong idea, Dad, we tried to get married. ...and as soon as Paul can pass his physical, we will get a license. It might take a little longer, though, because I think I caught what he had. It itches like crazy, but seems to be responding to medication.

Mom, do you know if penicillin can make a girl miss her period?

Dad, you and Mom are going to love Paul. He's so cute. As soon as he gets out of jail we're going to hitch down and see you guys...

Dad, have I got your attention? I know you will be relieved to know that the first part of this letter is total fabrication -- no fire, no scars, and no Paul. ...But I did get a "D" in Chemistry.

I guess it could be worse. Right?

Love ya, your daughter.

Scare tactics work right?

[chuckles ruefully]

Drama Queen better not get any ideas like that above....

Don't forget to visit my tenant, Beth at Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.
Show her some Love.....

Men just can't win....

2006-09-18T00:34:00.000-04:00

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off you butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a promotion ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

[Sighs]

We just can't win..... [chuckles]

For additonal humor and interesting take on things visit my newest tenant, Beth at Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.

Funny Thing

2006-09-17T20:35:00.000-04:00

I have chosen my newest tenant for purely selfish reasons...

She made me laugh.

I enjoy a good laugh. Not a quick smile or a smirk, but a "Oh God Please Stop Your Killing Me" Laugh. The ones where you have to hold your side because you laughed to hard, or your face hurts because of the constant smiling.

Hmmm.....

Perhaps I am laying it on a bit thick, BUT she indeed did make me laugh, and that counts.

My Newest Tenant to come by to Take a Sanity Break is...
Beth at Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.

That in itself is part of the charm of why I picked her.
An Undisturbed Mind Taking a Sanity Break. Just something catchy in that.
Plus she make me laugh with posts like:

The Man College

Plus more when you go to her sidebar, click on the HUMOR Category.....you won't regret it when you read funnies like:

Why I Love Kids

Those Dern Hillbillies

The Sneeze

And she poses an interesting question for women with:

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman With Cramps

If your curious as to who she is click on her site, and top right corner click "The ME List". I believe she may need Diana Joy to visit her....since she states at the bottom of her description of her and her life, "I wonder how long this list could go before a shrink contacted me?" (winks)

I believe I may have to add her as a permanent addition to my blogroll. People who can make you smile and laugh are a rare thing.

Unfortunately there could only be one renter this week, and a frog at Pond Perspective just wasn't kissed. Please try again and I will set out a fly or two for dinner and a nice wet lilypad to set you up on.

Pondering Driving Irritations

2006-09-17T05:29:00.000-04:00

I have been at work, pulling my normal 12 hour shift that runs all through the night.

Yes, while most of you are tucked away in sweet repose, dreaming and drooling, I am here at work.

Needless to say it can get pretty dang boring sitting here after I finish up with everything that I need to do and there is really only so much surfing you can do (mainly reading news stories) and while streaming music helps pass the time, it too gets a bit redundant, and so the mind turns to itself to ponder ......

I get to thinking about the things that seem to get under my skin and on my nerves while driving....

1) The Drifter Driver. People who "drift" back and forth while driving, what passes for a lane shift. Hey buddy, use the damn turn signal before I give you a signal of my own!

2) The Blinker Driver. People who don't know their turn signal has been on for the last 10 - 20 miles. Left hand turn signal while traveling in the fast lane next to the cement divider...can I so hope that you will make that turn?

3) The Lawsuit Driver. People who are driving next to me, behind me or in front of me and more than one of them in the car is wearing a neck brace! Y'all make me NERVOUS.

4) The "I gotta go NOW" Driver. Oh yeah, the person who suddenly needs to get on the off-ramp, and cuts across 3 lanes of traffic and about takes off my front bumper as I stand on my brakes, and they barely manage to keep from doing a header into the cement wall as they swerve on to that off-ramp. Where the hell you people learning to drive?!?!? I had that happen to me on the way to work tonight!

5) The Cell Yapper Driver. People in rush hour traffic more interested in talking on or dialing their stupid cell phones than the bumper they are suddenly riding up on.

6) The Rubbernecking Gawker Driver. Gawkers! Oh for the love of God, if there is an accident, you people are the ones that make it twice as bad by slowing down and almost stopping on a four lane highway so you can get your thrill and good look at the accident on the side of the road. Get a friggin life because you are making me late for work or making me that much slower in getting home to my family. What is even worse is when your slowing traffic down on the opposite side of the highway, where the accident isn't even at, just so you can peer over the cement divider to try and catch a glimpse of what is going on.

7) The "Look Ma, No Hands" Driver. Ok, this one I can't talk to much on, since I have been known to drive with my knees at times, but I am rather good at it. But if you are driving with your knees, and holding a bowl of cereal and pouring milk with your other hand and doing 70 MPH, your pushing it ok?

8) The Brake Smasher Driver. Yeah you know who you are. Those of you doing a nice clip of speed, get right up on someone who is slowing down or stopped, and slam on your breaks till the back end of your car practically jumps up in the air. I hate you with a passion, because of you I have had more coffee spilled and become a puddle at my feet. Damn you for making me waste my coffee.

9) The Bathroom Driver. Yes, I call them that because they are doing what they SHOULD have done at home in the bathroom, like shave or putting on makeup. If you don't have time to do it and you have to do those things on the go while driving, do us all a favor and set you dang clocks 5 - 10 minutes earlier so you can shave and put on makeup before getting behind the wheel.

10) The "No Fear" Driver. The SUV drivers from Hell in the winter time. Yes, those that think because they have an SUV that they are indestructable to ice and snow, so they go as fast as they would during the summer driving. Do you really think ice cares you have an SUV, because it is just as slick for and SUV than it is for a normal car. I can attest to that the time I hit some black ice and ended up across 8 lanes of road and into an empty hotel parking lot at 3am some time back. You hang on tight, and pray you don't hit anything until you stop spinning.

11) The "Gangster" Driver. Not really something that gets under my skin, but really, whats with the fake bullet holes that people put on their cars? Am I suppose to be impressed? Do they think people see that and say, wow, he must be a gangster? Do something useful and put some reading material on your bumper so I have something to read while I am stuck behind you waiting for the line of gawkers to move from the accident up ahead.

12) The "Everyone Loves My Music" Driver. People who put more in their radio systems than they do into their cars. I have seen some rust buckets, some real crappy cars that look like they should be scrapped, and they are "BOOM BOOM"ing away rattling and shaking the metal so it sounds like the car is going to shake apart. First of all, you are drawing attention to your crappy cars, not something you should be impressed with doing. Second, attach them firmly and add insulation to them so they don't rattle your entire car to pieces and Third, I don't want to hear the garbage. Why do you think it's your right to force your music on me and others? Do you think we will like it?

13) The "I shouldn't be a Cop" Driver. Cops who don't know what the rules of the road are. Yeah, this one was a big irritation. Driving out of downtown Detroit, and going through a FLASHING YELLOW intersection light this female cop had the audacity to use her LOUDSPEAKER, and start yelling that we needed to STOP at the flashing yellow light then proceed. Umm Hello, read your drivers manual lady. You do not stop at a flashing yellow, you stop at a flashing RED and then proceed, just like a normal stop sign, but with a fashing yellow, you slow down and proceed with caution. Irritating when even the cops don't know how to drive...then make an ass of themselves in the process with their loudspeaker broadcasting their ignorance.

14) The "I can't do two things at once" Driver. Cell phones earn an extra entry here, especially those who don't know how to talk and drive. I suppose you don't know how to chew gum and walk a straight line also, since your yapping away on your cell and weaving in and out of your lane like your drunk.

15) The "You can't see me" Driver. People who don't know their lights aren't on when it is pitch black out. It isn't super, secret, silent mode your driving in buddy, turn your friggin lights on.

16) The "I'm Tired" Driver. Ok, this isn't really an irritation yet, but what is with the reclining (almost laying down completely) in the drivers seat while driving? Afraid someone is going to see you and recognize you? Someone shooting at you? You a turtle and are afraid to come out of your shell?

17) The "I need to be first" Driver. Last but not least, the people who drive like a bat outta hell to get in front of me and then slow down to granny speed. Oh how many times I have dreamed of running you into the wall....

Well that wasn't so bad, killed an hour waiting for my next shift to arrive.

Till next time...see you on the road. (grins evilly)

What Four Things......

2006-09-13T20:11:00.000-04:00

I have not been tagged with this, but to better understand some of my background, my beliefs, and my thoughts, I decided to put this together.

I thought about this and decided to put this together after reading Margie's Fabulous Four Post at Do you have Issues?

I will not however be passing it along as a tag, though if those of you who stop by decide to do so, please give credit where credit is due.

Now onward......

A) Four Jobs I have had in my life:

1. Soldier in the US Army
2. Head cook at Big Boy
3. Satellite Helpdesk Technician
4. Husband and Daddy

B) Four Movies I could watch over and over again:

1. Harry Potter
2. Evolution
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Bruce Almighty

C) Four websites you visit daily:

1. Sister Toldjah
2. WTF Comics
3. Cox & Forkum
4. Memeorandum

D) Four places I would love to go to:

1. Disney World, FL
2. Niagra Falls, Ontario
3. Carlsbad Caverns National Park, New Mexico
4. Glacier National Park, Montana

E) Four things I would love to do:

1. White water rafting
2. Skydive
3. Sailing
4. Scuba Dive

F) Four Books or Series of books I could read again:

1. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant - Stephen R. Donaldson
2. Calvin and Hobbes - Bill Watterson
3. Still thinking about this one
4. Still thinking about this one

G) Four music groups you listen to:

1. Evanescence
2. Men at Work
3. Genesis
4. The Doobie Brothers

H) Four of your Favorite Songs:

1. Sunset Grill - Don Henley
2. Turn it on again - Genesis
3. Linus and Lucy (Peanuts theme) - David Benoit
4. Breathe - Michelle Branch

J) Four of your Favorite Comedians:

1. Ron White
2. Bill Engvall
3. Rodney Carrington
3. Jeff Foxworthy

K) Four things you would rather be doing right this second:

1. Heading home - I am at work
2. Canoing on a lake with the family
3. Fishing
4. Having sex - oh c'mon, like you wouldn't?

L) If you could have four wishes, what would they be?

1. To die before my children and my wife - it will rip me apart if they go before me.
2. My children grow up to be great adults.
3. My kids remember me as a good dad.
4. My wife will always love and be in love with me.

M) If you won the Lotto, millions of dollars, what four things would you do first?

1. Move to Colorado, Tennessee, Montana or Wyoming. Anywhere there is mountains and country. Buy a nice but modest house.

2. Set up a trust fund for the children, and make sure their education is completely taken care of.

3. Pay off all my mothers bills, and my brother and sister, including houses and set them up so they can retire.

4. Retire from my job and open up a small cozy coffee shop.

N) Name four of the happiest moments of your life:

1. When I married my wife and knew she was the only one for me.
2. When both my children were born.
3. Seeing my children walk for the first time.
4. If I win the lotto like above...lol

O) Name four of the saddest moments of your life:

1. Burying my Father.

2. My mother getting out of an abusive marriage with my step-dad, and his son from another marriage killing himself afterwards because he couldn't deal with what I had to put up with for four years and feeling like because I left it was my fault.

3. When I thought I was going to lose my daughter during birth, she was a meconium baby and had the cord wrapped around her throat twice.

4. When I thought my son was going to have Down Syndrome and the so-called specialist was pressing my wife and me to think about aborting the pregnancy. My son is in excellent health by the way, the specialist was WRONG!

P) If you could have a super power, what four would you pick and why?

1. Fly - because I love the wind in my hair, and rush hour traffic sucks.

2. Stop Time - there is just not enough time in the day for everything you want to get done.

3. Telepathy - cause there are just times when I wish I could read my wife and kid's minds.

4. Change Shape - cause it would freak my kids out to ride "daddy the pony"

Q) This is not a pick four question, but if you could go back in time, would your change anything in your life?

I would leave notes of encouragement to myself during my darkest times.

I would change it so I could get down to see my dad before he died, and let him see my wife and his grandchildren for the first time. He never got to meet my wife, and never saw his grandchildren - especially the only grandson he has in the family, and it is still very hard for me to handle that to this day. My fathers death is a very low point with me still.

I would not change anything in my life, even the roughest times, that would change the direction of how my life went. Yes, I did say I wouldn't change even the worst of it, because even though I have had plenty of things I wish I would never have gone through or erase from my life, I will not change those because in doing so would make me a different person than I am today.

Changing my life so all the bad things went away would change me as a person, the directions I took, and could very well change the life I have now. It would mean I would not have gone through what I have to become who I am, to marry my loving wife and to have her bear me two wonderful children.

I would not change that - the pain and suffering I went through was worth it.

Sorry if the last was a bit of a downer.

Life is out to get me!!!

2006-09-13T15:35:00.000-04:00

Yes, I realize this sounds a bit irrational and paranoid, but man does it ever feel like it lately.

Take last night for instance.....

I went out deposited a check later in the evening, and was driving on the highway toward Walmart. It was raining but nothing heavy, though it was off and on raining most of the day.

I was getting close to home when coming up and over a small overpass (goes over the roads crossing underneath), when I hit a puddle and it yanked me toward the barrier at an angle that would have put me over the side of the overpass and into the street below had I not been able to resume control.

I was going 50 on a 75MPH highway, in light rain.

Ok, heart is slowing down...

Five minutes later I am off the highway, and pulling into Walmart parking lot...

And some old guy in a boat, errr, I mean a grey car, looks to be a Cadillac (size of a boat), swings his car out 18 wheeler style, meaning he took a VERY wide turn ending up almost colliding with me head on as I am turning into the parking lot.

Some people should not be driving.

If you have a big car and you don't know how to drive it or turn that damn thing, get a smaller car or take the bus.

I get myself pulled into a parking space, and calm down to the point I don't want to get out and punch the guy in the nose.

I call my wife, and tell her I love her, just-in-case Life decides to get serious and take me all the way out!

I wanted her to hear that I love her....just-in-case...

A Somber Day

2006-09-11T04:44:00.000-04:00

Tis a somber day for most people in America as our thoughts turn toward those that were lost from us on 9/11 due to a terrorist attack on our soil.

I browsed through many sites to bring a small amount of the poems, artwork, pictures...the beauty and the sorrow felt by many on this fateful day.

There are many tributes during this somber day, they are all beautiful and artistic:

Tuesday's Tears

I pause to remember 9/11 of this year;
tragic, heartbreaking, the multitudes so dear.
Horrified, I probed the deepest hollows of my soul;
"Oh God, " I cried out; unaware of the grevious toll.
I wept, I prayed, as never before;
I ached to reach out, to touch and much more.
I love each one gone, each one left behind;
beseeching the heavens, priorities redesigned.
"Precious child, I too, weep today.
Fall on your knees, my beloved, and pray.
My arms hold your loved ones, close to my breast.
America, cry out, I'll do the rest."

Tuesday's Tears

Even Superman was drawn to bear witness to the tragedy:

And Spiderman, in the comics, is a New Yorker:

It is time to remove your blinders, let your prejudices go. We are all AMERICANS who reside in the United States. Look closely at the above picture....I see many colors, many races...one America. Take pride in that!

In the end, I think this says it the best:

We Are One
As the soot and dirt and ash rained down,
We became one color.
As we carried each other down the stairs of the burning building,

We became one class.
As we lit candles of waiting and hope,

We became one generation.
As the firefighters and police officers fought their way into the inferno,

We became one gender.
As we fell to our knees in prayer for strength,

We became one faith.
As we whispered or shouted words of encouragement,

We spoke one language.
As we gave blood in lines a mile long,

We became one body.
As we mourned together the great loss,

We became one family.
As we cried tears of grief and loss,

We became one soul.
As we retell with pride of the sacrifice of heros,

We become one people.
We are One color, One class, One generation, One gender, One faith, One language, One body, One family, One soul, One People.

We are The Power of One.

We are United.

We are America.

Link

Whatever happened to that Unity?
At that time, we were one country, a country called America!
Now....I just don't know anymore. People seem to have forgotten.

It is a somber time of rememberance, but it is also a time to remember and to stoke the fire in our bellies. GET ANGRY!!
DO NOT LAYDOWN!! DO NOT GIVE UP!! DO NOT SURRENDER!! DO NOT FORGET!!!

Side Note:
While there are some out there that are so filled with hate for America that they seethe and spew their hatred at anyone who mentions 9/11, support for troops, or God..ect. I have seen first hand this hatred they spew onto blogs who support America and American Troops. It really is such a sad thing to see hatred eat at a person's soul like that, turning them ugly in so many ways.

As with many of my fellow bloggers, if I see such actions taking place here, I will personally edit each one of your hate-filled comments and make you say something you don't mean. If it gets too bad, I will completely edit your comments so that you become a joke.

You have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to mine, but I will not allow those of you who want to demean or belittle America on this somber day to voice hate.

If you hate - go somewhere else.
You are not welcome here.

I am a firm believer in God.
I LOVE AMERICA. I am a Patriotic American.
I have served in the Military.
That Flag that will fly at Half-Mast today will be saluted and is much more than just material you use to burn in your hatred.

I am many things, but most of all, I am an AMERICAN.

Damn straight I am.

New Blog Design

2006-09-07T02:58:00.000-04:00

New Blog Design is completed.

Many thanks to Krome at Illdreams.

I still have a few more things to check through, add and/or modify, so things are completely to my liking. It is 3am, so I am going to crash and delve back into it later tommorrow.

If you run into any problems, feel free to post in my comment section (located up on top of the post now), and I will address it as quickly as possible.

Thanks Krome, you do EXCELLENT work!!!

Amazing 3-D Sidewalk Art Pt. 3

2006-08-31T20:27:00.000-04:00

Removing section of the sidewalk. Funny thing is that people are walking AROUND it!!

Man those flies are big in the city!!! I think he needs a bigger can of raid.

Falling through the sidewalk!

Digging for gold in the sidewalk. Grab a shovel!! There's GOLD in them thar walks.....

Ok, when it is THIS big, it is no longer a laptop!!

Very large sidewalk art.....

Unloading the ship.......

Amazing 3-D Sidewalk Art Pt. 2

2006-08-31T19:53:00.000-04:00

Which one is real? Which one is the true artist?

I have heard of potholes, but man this is rediculous!!!

Public pool? Taking a dip in the middle of the sidewalk.

A different view of the sidewalk pool.

It is amazing what you find in potholes anymore.....

Sailing in potholes......

Stay Tuned For Part 3.....

Amazing 3-D Sidewalk Art

2006-08-30T22:09:00.000-04:00

Fantastic! I would love to have seen this in the black and white Spiderman though...

Amazing, it really does look like he is perched on the side of a building!

It looks so real, as if the stones are actually crumbling. The artists is VERY talented.

After being so close to the hole above a nice big bottle of coke would hit the spot. Remember those days of actual GLASS bottles of coke...not this plastic bottle stuff, actual glass!! Yum.

On a more serious note, check out my new tenant The Zero Boss, as he Honors, Karen Helene Schmidt, in the 2996 Project Memorial for the September 11, 2001 terrorist victims.

Read, learn and Never Forget!

Meet the Drama Queen and the Comedian

2006-08-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

The Drama Queen

The Comedian

Excursion to the Zoo

2006-08-27T03:33:00.000-04:00

Coaxing up the seals for what looked to be giving them eye drops with some fish as added incentives....

I'm a Gopher....I dig holes! Where's your lawn?

Chillin' in the mud.......

You know, it's a dang good thing Giraffes are not afraid of heights! *grins*

A giant BULL frog! Yeah, yeah, it's me making my daughter laugh....