Sunday, September 17, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 5:29 AM
Yes, while most of you are tucked away in sweet repose, dreaming and drooling, I am here at work.
Needless to say it can get pretty dang boring sitting here after I finish up with everything that I need to do and there is really only so much surfing you can do (mainly reading news stories) and while streaming music helps pass the time, it too gets a bit redundant, and so the mind turns to itself to ponder ......
I get to thinking about the things that seem to get under my skin and on my nerves while driving....
1) The Drifter Driver. People who "drift" back and forth while driving, what passes for a lane shift. Hey buddy, use the damn turn signal before I give you a signal of my own!
2) The Blinker Driver. People who don't know their turn signal has been on for the last 10 - 20 miles. Left hand turn signal while traveling in the fast lane next to the cement divider...can I so hope that you will make that turn?
3) The Lawsuit Driver. People who are driving next to me, behind me or in front of me and more than one of them in the car is wearing a neck brace! Y'all make me NERVOUS.
4) The "I gotta go NOW" Driver. Oh yeah, the person who suddenly needs to get on the off-ramp, and cuts across 3 lanes of traffic and about takes off my front bumper as I stand on my brakes, and they barely manage to keep from doing a header into the cement wall as they swerve on to that off-ramp. Where the hell you people learning to drive?!?!? I had that happen to me on the way to work tonight!
5) The Cell Yapper Driver. People in rush hour traffic more interested in talking on or dialing their stupid cell phones than the bumper they are suddenly riding up on.
6) The Rubbernecking Gawker Driver. Gawkers! Oh for the love of God, if there is an accident, you people are the ones that make it twice as bad by slowing down and almost stopping on a four lane highway so you can get your thrill and good look at the accident on the side of the road. Get a friggin life because you are making me late for work or making me that much slower in getting home to my family. What is even worse is when your slowing traffic down on the opposite side of the highway, where the accident isn't even at, just so you can peer over the cement divider to try and catch a glimpse of what is going on.
7) The "Look Ma, No Hands" Driver. Ok, this one I can't talk to much on, since I have been known to drive with my knees at times, but I am rather good at it. But if you are driving with your knees, and holding a bowl of cereal and pouring milk with your other hand and doing 70 MPH, your pushing it ok?
8) The Brake Smasher Driver. Yeah you know who you are. Those of you doing a nice clip of speed, get right up on someone who is slowing down or stopped, and slam on your breaks till the back end of your car practically jumps up in the air. I hate you with a passion, because of you I have had more coffee spilled and become a puddle at my feet. Damn you for making me waste my coffee.
9) The Bathroom Driver. Yes, I call them that because they are doing what they SHOULD have done at home in the bathroom, like shave or putting on makeup. If you don't have time to do it and you have to do those things on the go while driving, do us all a favor and set you dang clocks 5 - 10 minutes earlier so you can shave and put on makeup before getting behind the wheel.
10) The "No Fear" Driver. The SUV drivers from Hell in the winter time. Yes, those that think because they have an SUV that they are indestructable to ice and snow, so they go as fast as they would during the summer driving. Do you really think ice cares you have an SUV, because it is just as slick for and SUV than it is for a normal car. I can attest to that the time I hit some black ice and ended up across 8 lanes of road and into an empty hotel parking lot at 3am some time back. You hang on tight, and pray you don't hit anything until you stop spinning.
11) The "Gangster" Driver. Not really something that gets under my skin, but really, whats with the fake bullet holes that people put on their cars? Am I suppose to be impressed? Do they think people see that and say, wow, he must be a gangster? Do something useful and put some reading material on your bumper so I have something to read while I am stuck behind you waiting for the line of gawkers to move from the accident up ahead.
12) The "Everyone Loves My Music" Driver. People who put more in their radio systems than they do into their cars. I have seen some rust buckets, some real crappy cars that look like they should be scrapped, and they are "BOOM BOOM"ing away rattling and shaking the metal so it sounds like the car is going to shake apart. First of all, you are drawing attention to your crappy cars, not something you should be impressed with doing. Second, attach them firmly and add insulation to them so they don't rattle your entire car to pieces and Third, I don't want to hear the garbage. Why do you think it's your right to force your music on me and others? Do you think we will like it?
13) The "I shouldn't be a Cop" Driver. Cops who don't know what the rules of the road are. Yeah, this one was a big irritation. Driving out of downtown Detroit, and going through a FLASHING YELLOW intersection light this female cop had the audacity to use her LOUDSPEAKER, and start yelling that we needed to STOP at the flashing yellow light then proceed. Umm Hello, read your drivers manual lady. You do not stop at a flashing yellow, you stop at a flashing RED and then proceed, just like a normal stop sign, but with a fashing yellow, you slow down and proceed with caution. Irritating when even the cops don't know how to drive...then make an ass of themselves in the process with their loudspeaker broadcasting their ignorance.
14) The "I can't do two things at once" Driver. Cell phones earn an extra entry here, especially those who don't know how to talk and drive. I suppose you don't know how to chew gum and walk a straight line also, since your yapping away on your cell and weaving in and out of your lane like your drunk.
15) The "You can't see me" Driver. People who don't know their lights aren't on when it is pitch black out. It isn't super, secret, silent mode your driving in buddy, turn your friggin lights on.
16) The "I'm Tired" Driver. Ok, this isn't really an irritation yet, but what is with the reclining (almost laying down completely) in the drivers seat while driving? Afraid someone is going to see you and recognize you? Someone shooting at you? You a turtle and are afraid to come out of your shell?
17) The "I need to be first" Driver. Last but not least, the people who drive like a bat outta hell to get in front of me and then slow down to granny speed. Oh how many times I have dreamed of running you into the wall....
Well that wasn't so bad, killed an hour waiting for my next shift to arrive.
Till next time...see you on the road. (grins evilly)