Saturday, September 30, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 10:09 PM
One of my earlier, and probably my first actual sit down and write seriously during my college days was "A Childs Day at the Beach".
It was a beginning, but nothing I pursued much of, though I wonder at times if I could write seriously and be a published writer.....
Well, here it is...
A Child's Day at the Beach
It's a nice, hot summer day. Hundreds of people flock to the beach in search of fun, excitement and a way of cooling down. As is the case with Mr. and Mrs. Cooligan, who have taken time away from their busy work day to spend with their young son, Sam.
Sam sprints as fast as he can toward the sparkling, crystal water going three feet within before collapsing head first into the cool, blue water only to spring up a foot or so from where he first entered. Sam loves the water and imagines himself like a giant sea tortoise gracefully moving beneath the warm waves until he can no longer hold his breath and bursts up from beneath the blue water to gulp at the hot, humid air. He giggles and splashes, feeling renewed and happy, without a care in the world.
Sam wonders why he can't come to the sandy beach more often and remembers that his parents have to work and that soon Summer would fade away and become the cold and windy Fall, finally understanding what his father has said about using your time wisely. With that last somber thought Sam makes his way toward the shore, swimming with slow abandonment, not wanting to leave the shiny, cool lake but knowing that he may visit this sanctuary again to become the giant sea tortoise or anything else he chooses next summer. Sam climbs out of the refreshing water and stands for a moment, wiggling his toes in the warm sand and looks over the crystal waters and whispers, "See you next summer, old friend". He then turns and runs to where his parents wait and wraps himself in his towel.
As he walks toward the family car, he glances over his shoulder to glimpse a view of the water, and imagines next summer, instead of the giant sea tortoise, he will be a great White Shark!
Copyright © Break in Sanity, 2006.
All Rights Reserved
I suppose it wasn't overly long, but typing it here and writing it by hand tend to have a bit of a difference in the way it looks I suppose.
I will look at adding another story I have done later on.
Hope you enjoyed.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 12:52 PM
Fiesta Tostadas1 can Traditional Refried Beans
1 can Diced Tomatoes & Green Chiles, drained - Juice kept to the side.
1 container sour cream
1 package taco seasoning mix
12 individual crisp tostada shells
3 cups prepared guacamole
1 cup shredded Cheddar & Moterey Jack cheese
1 can sliced black olives.
1/4 cup sliced green onions
DIRECTIONS:Stir together beans and the juice you kept to the side from the Diced Tomatoes & Green Chiles, in a medium bowl.
Whisk sour cream and taco seasoning together in a small bowl until blended smooth.
Layer each tostada shell evenly with equal parts beans, guacamole, sour cream mixture, cheese, black olives, green onions and diced tomatoes.
Enjoy.
And for Dessert....
Apple Enchiladas! "This is a DELICIOUS apple dessert - serve it up right from the oven with vanilla ice cream - a sure hit with family and friends!"
Prep Time: 10 Minutes
Cook Time: 30 Minutes
Ready In: 1 Hour
Servings: 6
1 (21 ounce) can apple pie filling
6 (8 inch) flour tortillas
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup water
DIRECTIONS:Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 2 quart baking dish.
Spoon about one heaping quarter cup of pie filling evenly down the center of each tortilla. Sprinkle with cinnamon; roll up, tucking in edges; and place seam side down in prepared dish.
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine butter, white sugar, brown sugar and water. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly; reduce heat and simmer 3 minutes. Pour sauce over enchiladas and let stand 30 minutes.
Bake in preheated oven 20 minutes, or until golden.
Now that your either drooling over the food or stuffing your face with it, take some time and visit my tenant at
Ghost Works.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 3:41 PM
Read those ads very carefully, and compare it to the Vacation Terminology Handbook:
Old World Charm.....................No Bath
Tropical............................Rainy
Majestic Setting....................A long way from town
Options Galore......................Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway...................Impossible to find or to get to
Pre-registered rooms................Already occupied
Explore on your own.................Pay for it yourself
No extra fees.......................No extras
Nominal fee.........................Outrageous charge
Standard............................Sub-standard
Deluxe..............................Standard
Superior............................One free shower cap
All the amenities...................Two free shower caps
Plush...............................Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes......................Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy......................No air conditioning
Picturesque.........................Theme park nearby
Open bar............................Free ice cubes
Check back later today, I will be posting some stories I had done in college. I will start off with a few short ones, and work up to a couple of chapters when I went into the military.
Blogger / Blogspot seems to be acting a bit hokey today, so it will be a bit later today when I add a story. I am having quite a bit of trouble getting the post to save and publish. Hopefully they will have it fixed soon.
Meanwhile go check out my tenant
Ghost Works.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 11:54 AM
Seems my new tenant,
Ghost Works and I have much in common in the interest we share, and I find that fascinating.
CSI, NCIS, House - Three of my favorite shows, and seems to be the first three on
Ghost Works, Thirteen Things on TiVo.
On the question of caff or decaf:
Definitely full strength in the mornings, but decaf in the afternoons and evenings.Is where we disagree slightly, I take it full strength in the morning, noon and night, and I will throw in Mountain Dew for a change of taste and sometimes Sweet Tea. [chuckles]
We are in complete agreement here:
Autumn. I love the folliage turning and the sweater weather. I love rain and Halloween. I love colder weather and autumn is when it begins.Check out
Ghost Work's recipe for Pizza Swirls and Quick & Dirty Quiches also.
I might just start adding some recipes here myself.
So go check out
Ghost Works, and see what is in the making......
Monday, September 25, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 8:07 PM
Why is it that women complain that they aren't mind readers when they get upset with men, but then turn around and expect men to be mind readers for them?
Have you ever been called while in the middle of work to be asked what you want for dinner, when you have no clue at all what you currently have available to cook, since your at work? No choices of what can be cooked so I have an idea what is around the house I am away from, just "What do you want to eat?"
How about coming home after working 8 - 12 hours, watching the kids while your mate takes off for 2 - 4 hours of rest in the bedroom, all the while you handle the kids, get them baths and get them off to bed.
Some women complain about so much, but don't look at what is done for them at all.
Take for instance myself....
I get up with my 2 children 7 days a week, changing the youngest, getting both dressed, and fed breakfast. All the while letting my wife sleep in, sometimes as late as noon, in which I will have already made lunch and gotten the kids eating then too.
Two days out of the week I work somewhat normal hours and leave by 9am for a 10am - 6pm shift. Getting up with the kids and feeding them I do then too.
I work a 12 hour midnight shift, 7pm to 7am during Saturday and Sunday. I get home around 8am in the morning due to the drive, get the kids up and am normally up till noon again, watching and then feeding them lunch. At this time I have normally been up 19 to 20 hours and am downright exhausted, literally a walking zombie and walking in to the walls. I wait till wife gets up, or I am am literally asleep on my feet, losing consciosness and ask her to get up so I can lay down and get some sleep before going in and working throughout the night again.
And after getting 4 hours of sleep, I get up and do it all over again.
Even on my days off, I am the first up with the kids, changing diapers, getting them dressed and fed.
Maybe I am not noticing what is getting cleaned, but I do notice dishes that have been in the sink for a couple of days or complaints of doing laundry when most times you throw a load in and wait till it gets done, switching out to the dryer and then folding when it gets done. Putting it away? Most times I end up doing that otherwise it is left in baskets for a week.
I don't stress on it too much, because I hate arguements and I know if I bring it up it will be turned around and become my fault.
I also don't have a big problem helping and doing things around the house, allowing my wife some extra time in sleeping in, pandering and taking care her when she gets sick, even taking days off to watch the kids when she gets sick. I do have a problem when it feels like I am alone in doing this though.
I hate arguing. I hate it with a passion.
I like it when things run smoothly, so I am loathe to bring things up that which will break the calm, even if perhaps the calm is forced or an act.
Perhaps it is because of what I went through growing up that I hate, and I mean with a passion, confrontation and arguing, and so I let things get piled up inside me. Oh yes, I am a sigher, I guess you could call it a release valve for built up steam inside. Most men sigh cause they are releasing that pent up steam, and feeling it just isn't worth the fight.
Maybe men aren't to far off from women in that regard, the sighs, the expecting the other person to know why your upset with them or why your frustrated.
Women may have the market cornered on the "He just doesn't understand me" or "He doesn't understand what I do around here", but guess what, I think you better step back and take a look around, because men also go through similiar things.
Communication on both men and women tend to be lacking many times, and I suppose especially for myself also, since I hate confrontations and arguing I will let it just pile up and let it fester inside me and having the feeling of being taken advantage of building.
Why is it so hard for women to come out and just say (without getting mad, angry or pissed) that they are going through a hard time, or having problems and could use your help or need a bit of space and if you could do this or that, or just have patience for a little bit as you work through whatever is going on in your head or with your body, you would appreciate it.
Why is it so hard for men also, to turn around and let your feelings known, without yelling, without it getting to that point in anger? What is it about men that we have such a hard time in talking, like it is some sort of weakness? Men, we need to learn to communicate just as much as women, to be able to let your other half know when something is bothering you so it doesn't build up and get piled up on top of many other things you hold inside. Because if you don't, these things tend to fester inside you if not resloved, and can turn into resentment.
I have a good marriage I believe, and a good wife, but communication is lacking and I believe that is part of the biggest problem between her and I.
Hopefully something we will both work on.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 7:59 PM
Just for giggles I thought I would write a few quick paragraphs for fun, on just whatever passed through my head at the time to see how well I could do.
Enjoy.
She sat across from me on the blanket we spread across the misted, green grass. Her hair fluttered around her head like a halo, light mist glittering in each strand making her hair seemingly filled with sparkling diamonds.
The mist drifts up from the waterfall crashing into the pool ten feet below; the rumble of the constant rush of water as it crashes down to the pool fills our ears as we laugh with delight......
Another?
I was running out of air.
I could feel the air in my lungs yearning, no, more like burning for release, to flee from my chest wildly and to suck in a great lung-full of fresh air...
I dared not, could not, it would mean certain death by drowning if I allowed this burning need, so I clamped my lips together tightly, my chest hot with desire for breath as I struggled toward the surface.
It is so dark this deep that I can barely make out my hands in front of my face as I frantically struggle upward.
So cold.....
I can't... I don't know if I can...
Is that a light?
Are my eyes playing tricks on me?
My chest is screaming or is it myself screaming behind my tightly clamped lips? I don't know, but I know I won't last much longer.
Please God, let that be the surface....
Please...
Another?
"Where the hell is he?", I mutter to myself.
He was suppose to go in, grab a pack of smokes and be right back.
I stare at the small party store, grumbling at how long he is taking, when he bursts out of the door like the demons of Hell were on right on his tail.
He sees me staring slack-jawed at his exit from the store, and yells, "GO! GO! GO! WE NEED TO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE NOW! MOOOOOVE IT!"
Not knowing what is going on, but knowing urgency when I hear it, my mind kicks into automatic as I shove the car in gear, tires smoking on the pavement, just as he dives into the backseat.
Tearing out of the parking lot and onto the road, I spare a moment to cast my gaze into the backseat where I see him sitting up and a sudden chill spreads up my spine as I say, "What did you do?"
He leans his head back resting it on back of the seat, slowly blowing out the smoke from the cigarette he just lit, and starts to laugh. He continues to stare at the ceiling of the car and chuckling saying, "Man, you should have seen your face when I came bursting out the door like that. What? You think I robbed the place or something?"
[laughter from the backseat]
"I just wanted to put some excitement into your life", he says as I grit my teeth.
"I bet your heart is beating a hundred times a minute right now, eh?", he says as he chuckles some more from the backseat.
I glare into the rearview mirror at him and say, "Remind me to beat you senseless when we stop next...."
Give or take 15 minutes, perhaps a bit more, cause I was dealing with the kids at the same time, is all it took to throw this together off the top of my head.
This was not pre-planned.
I decided to try and write from scratch, and just go with a idea or two here or there to write a little bit off the spur of the moment.
Hope you enjoyed.
As always, don't forget to visit my tenant, Beth at
Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind. We all need readership.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 3:43 PM
Ah humor, where have you gone...
It has been a trying day, starting even before waking up as I had a hard time trying to sleep. It must have been the midnight shift effect kicking in. Well from there it was downhill as soon as I woke up.
Frustrating to say the least.
I will try and find where I hid my funny bone and scratch up a few laughs, a giggle or two, maybe even a guffaw...and maybe a snort for those who snort while laughing (but don't want to admit it).
Speaking of scratching....Do you remember the old scratch and sniffs? I wonder where I can get some of them...I think the kids would LOVE them!
Funny things seen on T-shirts:
- (On the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off.
- (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah.
- If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen.
- THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus.
- Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate.
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
- Think nobody knows you're alive? Try missing a payment.
- And your cry baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
- A.S.A.P. means Always Say A Prayer.
- Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
- I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
- All Men Are Animals. Some Just Make Better Pets.
- Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
- If you scratch your rear, don’t bite your fingernails.
- God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation... I wonder if that means...?
- Germs attack people where they are weakest. This explains the number of head colds.
- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it limits.
- I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
- I'll try being nicer if you will try being smarter.
Here is one just for
Diana Joy, she will appreciate this one:
Scientists
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed "God." So they picked one of their number to go and tell Him (God) that they were done with Him.
The selected scientist walked up to God and said: "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone humans, and do many other seemingly 'miraculous' things. So, why don't you just go and get lost. ...No offense, you understand. We just don't need you anymore."
God listened very patiently to the scientist, and after the scholar was finished talking, God said: "Very well, let's say we have a man-making contest." The scientist thought for a moment, then reluctantly agreed to the challenge. But we're going to do it just like I did back in the old days, with Adam," God added.
The scientist said, "Sure, we'll take a crack at it," and he bent down to scoop up some soil.
"O no," God commanded, as he motioned for the scientist to stop. "I'm afraid you're going to have to make your own dirt!"
As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
22. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
Ok, I hope this cracked a smile on your face.
Let's see if it makes my day any better.......
Don't forget to visit my tenant, Beth at
Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 6:28 AM
I have been reading more of this, as there has been a nationwide theft of identity by a multi-part identity theft ring. They have caught several members with several THOUSAND fake driver's licenses and other documents related to the identity theft of thousands of Americans.
To check and see if your identity has been compromised,
The National Motor Vehicle License Bureau has set up a database of the confiscated Driver's Licenses and you can see if yours is in their database by clicking the link above.
Scary thought that this is happening, and how many people seemed to have had their identities compromised and stolen.
Mine wasn't in there, but I encourage you to check and make sure yours is not also. I will continue to check every couple of days to make sure that mine still has not been added.
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 1:10 AM
Dear Dad:
I don't know what you have heard, but please don't worry -- I get the stitches out later today, and the doctor says the scars will heal fine. He was amazed that a person could jump out of a third-story window and have so few injuries. That was one of the hardest things I will ever have to do -- you know, choosing between a burning dorm, or jumping 30 feet onto a concrete sidewalk.
I can't wait for you to meet Paul. He's the one who nursed me back to health after my accident. It was really nice of him to let me share his apartment, with my dorm burning down and all. Now, don't get the wrong idea, Dad, we tried to get married. ...and as soon as Paul can pass his physical, we will get a license. It might take a little longer, though, because I think I caught what he had. It itches like crazy, but seems to be responding to medication.
Mom, do you know if penicillin can make a girl miss her period?
Dad, you and Mom are going to love Paul. He's so cute. As soon as he gets out of jail we're going to hitch down and see you guys...
Dad, have I got your attention? I know you will be relieved to know that the first part of this letter is total fabrication -- no fire, no scars, and no Paul. ...But I did get a "D" in Chemistry.
I guess it could be worse. Right?
Love ya, your daughter.
Scare tactics work right?
[chuckles ruefully]
Drama Queen better not get any ideas like that above....
Don't forget to visit my tenant, Beth at
Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.
Show her some Love.....
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 12:34 AM
- If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
- If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.
- If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off you butt and find something better.
- If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a promotion ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
- If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
- If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
[Sighs]
We just can't win..... [chuckles]
For additonal humor and interesting take on things visit my newest tenant, Beth at
Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 8:35 PM
I have chosen my newest tenant for purely selfish reasons...
She made me laugh.
I enjoy a good laugh. Not a quick smile or a smirk, but a "Oh God Please Stop Your Killing Me" Laugh. The ones where you have to hold your side because you laughed to hard, or your face hurts because of the constant smiling.
Hmmm.....
Perhaps I am laying it on a bit thick, BUT she indeed did make me laugh, and that counts.
My Newest Tenant to come by to Take a Sanity Break is...
Beth at
Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind.
That in itself is part of the charm of why I picked her.
An Undisturbed Mind Taking a Sanity Break. Just something catchy in that.
Plus she make me laugh with posts like:
Plus more when you go to her sidebar, click on the HUMOR Category.....you won't regret it when you read funnies like:
And she poses an interesting question for women with:
- Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman With Cramps
If your curious as to who she is click on her site, and top right corner click "The ME List". I believe she may need
Diana Joy to visit her....since she states at the bottom of her description of her and her life,
"I wonder how long this list could go before a shrink contacted me?" (winks)
I believe I may have to add her as a permanent addition to my blogroll. People who can make you smile and laugh are a rare thing.
Unfortunately there could only be one renter this week, and a frog at
Pond Perspective just wasn't kissed. Please try again and I will set out a fly or two for dinner and a nice wet lilypad to set you up on.
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 5:29 AM
I have been at work, pulling my normal 12 hour shift that runs all through the night.
Yes, while most of you are tucked away in sweet repose, dreaming and drooling, I am here at work.
Needless to say it can get pretty dang boring sitting here after I finish up with everything that I need to do and there is really only so much surfing you can do (mainly reading news stories) and while streaming music helps pass the time, it too gets a bit redundant, and so the mind turns to itself to ponder ......
I get to thinking about the things that seem to get under my skin and on my nerves while driving....
1) The Drifter Driver. People who "drift" back and forth while driving, what passes for a lane shift. Hey buddy, use the damn turn signal before I give you a signal of my own!
2) The Blinker Driver. People who don't know their turn signal has been on for the last 10 - 20 miles. Left hand turn signal while traveling in the fast lane next to the cement divider...can I so hope that you will make that turn?
3) The Lawsuit Driver. People who are driving next to me, behind me or in front of me and more than one of them in the car is wearing a neck brace! Y'all make me NERVOUS.
4) The "I gotta go NOW" Driver. Oh yeah, the person who suddenly needs to get on the off-ramp, and cuts across 3 lanes of traffic and about takes off my front bumper as I stand on my brakes, and they barely manage to keep from doing a header into the cement wall as they swerve on to that off-ramp. Where the hell you people learning to drive?!?!? I had that happen to me on the way to work tonight!
5) The Cell Yapper Driver. People in rush hour traffic more interested in talking on or dialing their stupid cell phones than the bumper they are suddenly riding up on.
6) The Rubbernecking Gawker Driver. Gawkers! Oh for the love of God, if there is an accident, you people are the ones that make it twice as bad by slowing down and almost stopping on a four lane highway so you can get your thrill and good look at the accident on the side of the road. Get a friggin life because you are making me late for work or making me that much slower in getting home to my family. What is even worse is when your slowing traffic down on the opposite side of the highway, where the accident isn't even at, just so you can peer over the cement divider to try and catch a glimpse of what is going on.
7) The "Look Ma, No Hands" Driver. Ok, this one I can't talk to much on, since I have been known to drive with my knees at times, but I am rather good at it. But if you are driving with your knees, and holding a bowl of cereal and pouring milk with your other hand and doing 70 MPH, your pushing it ok?
8) The Brake Smasher Driver. Yeah you know who you are. Those of you doing a nice clip of speed, get right up on someone who is slowing down or stopped, and slam on your breaks till the back end of your car practically jumps up in the air. I hate you with a passion, because of you I have had more coffee spilled and become a puddle at my feet. Damn you for making me waste my coffee.
9) The Bathroom Driver. Yes, I call them that because they are doing what they SHOULD have done at home in the bathroom, like shave or putting on makeup. If you don't have time to do it and you have to do those things on the go while driving, do us all a favor and set you dang clocks 5 - 10 minutes earlier so you can shave and put on makeup before getting behind the wheel.
10) The "No Fear" Driver. The SUV drivers from Hell in the winter time. Yes, those that think because they have an SUV that they are indestructable to ice and snow, so they go as fast as they would during the summer driving. Do you really think ice cares you have an SUV, because it is just as slick for and SUV than it is for a normal car. I can attest to that the time I hit some black ice and ended up across 8 lanes of road and into an empty hotel parking lot at 3am some time back. You hang on tight, and pray you don't hit anything until you stop spinning.
11) The "Gangster" Driver. Not really something that gets under my skin, but really, whats with the fake bullet holes that people put on their cars? Am I suppose to be impressed? Do they think people see that and say, wow, he must be a gangster? Do something useful and put some reading material on your bumper so I have something to read while I am stuck behind you waiting for the line of gawkers to move from the accident up ahead.
12) The "Everyone Loves My Music" Driver. People who put more in their radio systems than they do into their cars. I have seen some rust buckets, some real crappy cars that look like they should be scrapped, and they are "BOOM BOOM"ing away rattling and shaking the metal so it sounds like the car is going to shake apart. First of all, you are drawing attention to your crappy cars, not something you should be impressed with doing. Second, attach them firmly and add insulation to them so they don't rattle your entire car to pieces and Third, I don't want to hear the garbage. Why do you think it's your right to force your music on me and others? Do you think we will like it?
13) The "I shouldn't be a Cop" Driver. Cops who don't know what the rules of the road are. Yeah, this one was a big irritation. Driving out of downtown Detroit, and going through a FLASHING YELLOW intersection light this female cop had the audacity to use her LOUDSPEAKER, and start yelling that we needed to STOP at the flashing yellow light then proceed. Umm Hello, read your drivers manual lady. You do not stop at a flashing yellow, you stop at a flashing RED and then proceed, just like a normal stop sign, but with a fashing yellow, you slow down and proceed with caution. Irritating when even the cops don't know how to drive...then make an ass of themselves in the process with their loudspeaker broadcasting their ignorance.
14) The "I can't do two things at once" Driver. Cell phones earn an extra entry here, especially those who don't know how to talk and drive. I suppose you don't know how to chew gum and walk a straight line also, since your yapping away on your cell and weaving in and out of your lane like your drunk.
15) The "You can't see me" Driver. People who don't know their lights aren't on when it is pitch black out. It isn't super, secret, silent mode your driving in buddy, turn your friggin lights on.
16) The "I'm Tired" Driver. Ok, this isn't really an irritation yet, but what is with the reclining (almost laying down completely) in the drivers seat while driving? Afraid someone is going to see you and recognize you? Someone shooting at you? You a turtle and are afraid to come out of your shell?
17) The "I need to be first" Driver. Last but not least, the people who drive like a bat outta hell to get in front of me and then slow down to granny speed. Oh how many times I have dreamed of running you into the wall....
Well that wasn't so bad, killed an hour waiting for my next shift to arrive.
Till next time...see you on the road. (grins evilly)
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 8:11 PM
I have not been tagged with this, but to better understand some of my background, my beliefs, and my thoughts, I decided to put this together.
I thought about this and decided to put this together after reading Margie's
Fabulous Four Post at Do you have Issues?
I will not however be passing it along as a tag, though if those of you who stop by decide to do so, please give credit where credit is due.
Now onward......
A) Four Jobs I have had in my life:1. Soldier in the US Army
2. Head cook at Big Boy
3. Satellite Helpdesk Technician
4. Husband and Daddy
B) Four Movies I could watch over and over again:1. Harry Potter
2. Evolution
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Bruce Almighty
C) Four websites you visit daily:1.
Sister Toldjah2.
WTF Comics3.
Cox & Forkum4.
MemeorandumD) Four places I would love to go to:1. Disney World, FL
2. Niagra Falls, Ontario
3. Carlsbad Caverns National Park, New Mexico
4. Glacier National Park, Montana
E) Four things I would love to do:1. White water rafting
2. Skydive
3. Sailing
4. Scuba Dive
F) Four Books or Series of books I could read again:1. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant - Stephen R. Donaldson
2. Calvin and Hobbes - Bill Watterson
3.
Still thinking about this one4.
Still thinking about this oneG) Four music groups you listen to:1. Evanescence
2. Men at Work
3. Genesis
4. The Doobie Brothers
H) Four of your Favorite Songs:1. Sunset Grill - Don Henley
2. Turn it on again - Genesis
3. Linus and Lucy (Peanuts theme) - David Benoit
4. Breathe - Michelle Branch
J) Four of your Favorite Comedians:1. Ron White
2. Bill Engvall
3. Rodney Carrington
3. Jeff Foxworthy
K) Four things you would rather be doing right this second:1. Heading home - I am at work
2. Canoing on a lake with the family
3. Fishing
4. Having sex - oh c'mon, like you wouldn't?
L) If you could have four wishes, what would they be?1. To die before my children and my wife - it will rip me apart if they go before me.
2. My children grow up to be great adults.
3. My kids remember me as a good dad.
4. My wife will always love and be in love with me.
M) If you won the Lotto, millions of dollars, what four things would you do first?1. Move to Colorado, Tennessee, Montana or Wyoming. Anywhere there is mountains and country. Buy a nice but modest house.
2. Set up a trust fund for the children, and make sure their education is completely taken care of.
3. Pay off all my mothers bills, and my brother and sister, including houses and set them up so they can retire.
4. Retire from my job and open up a small cozy coffee shop.
N) Name four of the happiest moments of your life:1. When I married my wife and knew she was the only one for me.
2. When both my children were born.
3. Seeing my children walk for the first time.
4. If I win the lotto like above...lol
O) Name four of the saddest moments of your life:1. Burying my Father.
2. My mother getting out of an abusive marriage with my step-dad, and his son from another marriage killing himself afterwards because he couldn't deal with what I had to put up with for four years and feeling like because I left it was my fault.
3. When I thought I was going to lose my daughter during birth, she was a meconium baby and had the cord wrapped around her throat twice.
4. When I thought my son was going to have Down Syndrome and the so-called specialist was pressing my wife and me to think about aborting the pregnancy. My son is in excellent health by the way, the specialist was WRONG!
P) If you could have a super power, what four would you pick and why?1. Fly - because I love the wind in my hair, and rush hour traffic sucks.
2. Stop Time - there is just not enough time in the day for everything you want to get done.
3. Telepathy - cause there are just times when I wish I could read my wife and kid's minds.
4. Change Shape - cause it would freak my kids out to ride "daddy the pony"
Q) This is not a pick four question, but if you could go back in time, would your change anything in your life?I would leave notes of encouragement to myself during my darkest times.
I would change it so I could get down to see my dad before he died, and let him see my wife and his grandchildren for the first time. He never got to meet my wife, and never saw his grandchildren - especially the only grandson he has in the family, and it is still very hard for me to handle that to this day. My fathers death is a very low point with me still.
I would not change anything in my life, even the roughest times, that would change the direction of how my life went. Yes, I did say I wouldn't change even the worst of it, because even though I have had plenty of things I wish I would never have gone through or erase from my life, I will not change those because in doing so would make me a different person than I am today.
Changing my life so all the bad things went away would change me as a person, the directions I took, and could very well change the life I have now. It would mean I would not have gone through what I have to become who I am, to marry my loving wife and to have her bear me two wonderful children.
I would not change that - the pain and suffering I went through was worth it.
Sorry if the last was a bit of a downer.
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 3:35 PM
Yes, I realize this sounds a bit irrational and paranoid, but man does it ever feel like it lately.
Take last night for instance.....
I went out deposited a check later in the evening, and was driving on the highway toward Walmart. It was raining but nothing heavy, though it was off and on raining most of the day.
I was getting close to home when coming up and over a small overpass (goes over the roads crossing underneath), when I hit a puddle and it yanked me toward the barrier at an angle that would have put me over the side of the overpass and into the street below had I not been able to resume control.
I was going 50 on a 75MPH highway, in light rain.
Ok, heart is slowing down...
Five minutes later I am off the highway, and pulling into Walmart parking lot...
And some old guy in a boat, errr, I mean a grey car, looks to be a Cadillac (size of a boat), swings his car out 18 wheeler style, meaning he took a VERY wide turn ending up almost colliding with me head on as I am turning into the parking lot.
Some people should not be driving.
If you have a big car and you don't know how to drive it or turn that damn thing, get a smaller car or take the bus.
I get myself pulled into a parking space, and calm down to the point I don't want to get out and punch the guy in the nose.
I call my wife, and tell her I love her, just-in-case Life decides to get serious and take me all the way out!
I wanted her to hear that I love her....just-in-case...
Monday, September 11, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 4:44 AM
Tis a somber day for most people in America as our thoughts turn toward those that were lost from us on 9/11 due to a terrorist attack on our soil.
I browsed through many sites to bring a small amount of the poems, artwork, pictures...the beauty and the sorrow felt by many on this fateful day.
There are many tributes during this somber day, they are all beautiful and artistic:
Tuesday's Tears
I pause to remember 9/11 of this year;
tragic, heartbreaking, the multitudes so dear.
Horrified, I probed the deepest hollows of my soul;
"Oh God, " I cried out; unaware of the grevious toll.
I wept, I prayed, as never before;
I ached to reach out, to touch and much more.
I love each one gone, each one left behind;
beseeching the heavens, priorities redesigned.
"Precious child, I too, weep today.
Fall on your knees, my beloved, and pray.
My arms hold your loved ones, close to my breast.
America, cry out, I'll do the rest."
Tuesday's Tears
Even Superman was drawn to bear witness to the tragedy:
And Spiderman, in the comics, is a New Yorker:
It is time to remove your blinders, let your prejudices go. We are all AMERICANS who reside in the United States. Look closely at the above picture....I see many colors, many races...one America. Take pride in that!
In the end, I think this says it the best:
We Are One
As the soot and dirt and ash rained down,
We became one color.
As we carried each other down the stairs of the burning building,
We became one class.
As we lit candles of waiting and hope,
We became one generation.
As the firefighters and police officers fought their way into the inferno,
We became one gender.
As we fell to our knees in prayer for strength,
We became one faith.
As we whispered or shouted words of encouragement,
We spoke one language.
As we gave blood in lines a mile long,
We became one body.
As we mourned together the great loss,
We became one family.
As we cried tears of grief and loss,
We became one soul.
As we retell with pride of the sacrifice of heros,
We become one people.
We are One color, One class, One generation, One gender, One faith, One language, One body, One family, One soul, One People.
We are The Power of One.
We are United.
We are America.
LinkWhatever happened to that Unity?
At that time, we were one country, a country called America!
Now....I just don't know anymore. People seem to have forgotten.
It is a somber time of rememberance, but it is also a time to remember and to stoke the fire in our bellies.
GET ANGRY!!
DO NOT LAYDOWN!! DO NOT GIVE UP!! DO NOT SURRENDER!! DO NOT FORGET!!!Side Note:While there are some out there that are so filled with hate for America that they seethe and spew their hatred at anyone who mentions 9/11, support for troops, or God..ect. I have seen first hand this hatred they spew onto blogs who support America and American Troops. It really is such a sad thing to see hatred eat at a person's soul like that, turning them ugly in so many ways.
As with many of my fellow bloggers, if I see such actions taking place here, I will personally edit each one of your hate-filled comments and make you say something you don't mean. If it gets too bad, I will completely edit your comments so that you become a joke.
You have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to mine, but I will not allow those of you who want to demean or belittle America on this somber day to voice hate.
If you hate - go somewhere else.
You are not welcome here.
I am a firm believer in God.
I LOVE AMERICA. I am a Patriotic American.
I have served in the Military.
That Flag that will fly at Half-Mast today will be saluted and is much more than just material you use to burn in your hatred.
I am many things, but most of all, I am an AMERICAN.
Damn straight I am.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 1:44 PM
Twas a hard pick this time because the few that did bid for rental this time, I found both very interesting.
In the end there can only be one....hmmm sounds like a movie...
My renter this time around will be
MInTheGap.
Whether you agree or not, I do find it interesting his take on certain things like:
- When schools silence talk of God
- The differences between family generations.
- Pro-Life: The Next Generation.
- What are the true value of things?
The other bidder I found interesting is
The Foo Logs.
Again, there can only be one, thank you for your bids and please try again another time.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 3:25 PM
The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!
I never knew that! As many times as I played cards; poker, rummy 500, ect. I never knew or noticed this.
When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second!
Wow! Now that is fast. Before you can say, "Oh crap", it's already broken.
Ok the next one I can't understand why this is true.....
A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface!
Especially since there are people who have survived being hit by lightning, and if lightning generates temperatures five times hotter than those on the sun's surface
(another bone to pick - how do they know how hot the sun is?!?), wouldn't the person who got hit by lightning simply become dust?
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!
This I think is really true, unfortunately I don't think they let us in on what men...which are probably those out playing golf in the storms, 9 iron raised up...*Kra-koom*. One twitching golfer....
Jaw muscles can provide about 200 pounds of force to bring the back teeth together for chewing.
Think about that the next time your lil' sis bites you!
In eighteenth century English gambling dens, there was an empolyee whose only job was to swallow the dice if there was a police raid.
Thats a hard roll to pass...lol
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
Ok, I understand Vegas is a gambling town, but really..c'mon...that is just carrying it too far!
In the 40's, the Bich pen was changed to Bic for fear that Americans would pronounce it 'Bitch.'
And we would have too...*chuckles*
Killer whales have such a good sense of touch that if you dropped a pill into a bucket and feed it to the orca it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.
Sounds like the Drama Queen when she was younger, she hated meat and could have mashpot, veges, and small bits of hamburger...swallow the rest and have only the hamburger left in her mouth!
Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.
I can just see my wife now, grabbing a kotex to put on my bleeding forehead and escorting me into the doctors office or ER with it stuck to my head!
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
*chuckles* Whose job was it to shave the tiger (and did he live?) to find out this information.....
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
Not a wonder I can't teach it to do tricks...He did do "roll over" once....but then he just ignored me and floated near the top.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
Obviously not an "average" person with kids.....
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
So will my daughter if she gets pregnant when she grows up, before 18...the father of said pregancy will be called a ...smear!
Don't mess with me...I am Dad, I have a shotgun, a shovel and 5 acres of land.......
The average American spends two years of their life waiting for meals to be served.
Would you like fries with that?
Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows!
People of the world unite...quit washing your windows!!!
The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!
Never knew that.....
A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!
And a group of geese pooping all over my backyard are a Pain!!!
Most lipstick contains fish scales!
ok, not sure what is worse, that I now know women put fish scales on their lips, or that guys are actually kissing fish scales......pucker up baby!!
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second!
I have to stop saying, "I will be back in a jiffy".
A person at rest generates as much heat as a 100watt lightbulb.
Except me. I kick off an incredible amount of heat. At our last apartment, during the winter, my wife used to kill the heat in the bedroom, cause I kicked off enough heat to heat the room while sleeping!
A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate!
Hey I need some of those plates!! Make some for cups, silverware and pans too...no more dishwashing!! You better eat every little bit of you plate, cup and silverware before you leave the table!!!
Cat urine glows under a black-light!
For you cat owners, I wouldn't suggest walking around your house at night with a blacklight....you might be "suprised" at just what shows up!
Ok, enough for now, I will post more of these tommorrow.
These are definately interesting facts, though I question some of the veracity of some of these claims.....
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 2:58 AM
New Blog Design is completed.
Many thanks to Krome at
Illdreams.
I still have a few more things to check through, add and/or modify, so things are completely to my liking. It is 3am, so I am going to crash and delve back into it later tommorrow.
If you run into any problems, feel free to post in my comment section (located up on top of the post now), and I will address it as quickly as possible.
Thanks Krome, you do
EXCELLENT work!!!
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 8:46 PM
I really, really hate these tag games ...but no sense making Neurotic Mom
more neurotic by not doing it...
1) Are you happy/satisfied with your blog with it's content and look?
No. It's a blogger template, and I guess it's the least ugly of most the free blogger templates I have seen.
After seeing the work done on Neurotic Mom's blog I decided to have some work done on mine.
I am currently having Krome from illdream redesign my blog.
2) Does your family know about your blog?
No. There is no reason for them to know about it, it really doesn't concern them.
My wife knows about it, and that is about it. She is the one that picked the name "Coffee Addict" (really describes ME though), which I thought seemed fitting. She drinks as much coffee as I do. *grins*
3) Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?
Friends?
Going to sound bad, but I don't really have anyone I call a "friend". People I work with, but hardly would call them friends, more like associates.
I don't have that companionship that my wife seems to have with some of her friends, and the ability to talk and unload on her friends.
Sometimes it is lonely being a guy.
4) Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?
Yes and no.
It started as a creative outlet, for me to be able to try and write on. But seems that as I have less time, the less gets written and I try and make others laugh with jokes or some interesting pictures instead.
I really need to be able to sit down and take the time to start writing again.
5) Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?
Oh, I have done my fair share of surfing.
That is the only way to discover what you normally would not go looking for.
It is amazing what you can find out there, and what others have to talk about and you won't realize this unless you start surfing to see what others have to say.
I have come across some beautiful thoughts on blogs, great pictures, interesting people...but on the flip side, I have also come across that which I wouldn't use as toilet paper to wipe my butt with!
There is alot of bad blogs and real idiocy out there, but you need to surf through that to find the roses amongst the manure piles.
6) What does visitors counter mean to you? Do you care about putting it in your blog?
Don't know, don't have one.
Perhaps I should put one on, but mainly I see traffic through the blogexplosion site.
Hopefully sometime soon I will begin to build a following and have regular visitors.
7) Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?
Yes, I am picturing you in your underwear right now as you read this......
8) Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?
Of course there is.
Blogging can be an emotional outlet, creative outlet, a way to de-stress, and similiar to a kind of self-help therapy.
It is a way to connect to the world, to talk to the world, to let the world know what you think....without the worry of a face-to-face conflict.
How badly have you ever wanted to sit there and tell your boss that you think he is a complete screw up, he is the worse manager in the world, that he wouldn't know direction if he had a damn compass?
Well with a blog, you are able to vent those feelings, share them with others. You can garner feelings of support, and yes, you can get the occassional "troll" who sees the comment section of your blog as a way to make them feel more "manly" by degrading others....and it just makes them look pathetic in their attacks, but they are also easy to throw out the door.
9) Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?
Of course not.
Most bloggers seem to be more in touch with world events, are faster than the regular media types, and I have seen bloggers "de-bunking" fake media reports and media, something that would never be seen or known about had not bloggers become a force for fact checking and information.
I would say bloggers are more involved because they have the world at their fingertips. They can talk to other bloggers across the world, learn about other cultures, see pictures from all around the world. This is more than they could do if they were just tuning into the news, or watching the discovery channel.
10) Does criticism annoying you or do you feel it's a normal thing?
Truthfully?
Unless I ask for critique of what I am doing for feedback, someone that just start offering their opinion or telling me what I am doing wrong when it was not asked for really bugs the shit out of me.
11) Do you fear some of the political blogs and avoid them?
No, I don't fear the political blogs.
I read quite a few of them, and blogs are not overtly scary.......just some of the people who comment on them are.
I have read some of the comments on some of the extreme blogs, and the type of people that lurk around there posting such evil, vile crap is just incredible. I can tell you this though, these same people would not say the same thing in public to another persons face that they comment with such hate and vileness.
Blogs can be used for good, or for bad.
I guess it depends on the make-up of the person who posts, whether being "invisible" behind the screen of a computer allows them to express their true feelings whether it be good or vile. I guess blogs could be like alcohol, dropping barriers you normally would have up and freeing up your tongue...unfortunately, does some of the vile, hate-filled crap some people post show the true rotten portions of the their soul?
I don't know.
12) Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?
I haven't heard of any arrests of any bloggers, so I can't really comment on that.
13) Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?
I doubt the blog will out live me.
Blogs come and go depending on how much someone puts into it.
This blog will self-destruct in 5....4....3....2....1....
14) What do you like to hear? What's the song you like to put its link in your blog?
Not exactly sure what you mean by this question.
If it is about what I like to listen to, well I listen to a wide variety from some Country Music to Classic Rock and Smooth Jazz.
And I completely agree with the rapper that said, "I rap because I can't sing".
I don't like rap, never did.
If the question asks what I like to listen to specifically, then a small portion of what I like to listen to is:
Sunset Grill - Don Henley
Boys of Summer - Don Henley
Boom Boom - Chayanne
Lady (You bring me up) - The Commodores
Breathe - Michelle Branch
In the Air Tonight - Nonpoint
Abacab - Genesis
No Reply at All - Genesis
Turn it on - Genesis
Shy Guy - Diana King
These are what I am currently listening to as I type this up.
I also enjoy:
Bill Engvall - Comedian
Ron White - Comedian
Rodney Carrington - Comedian
Bill Cosby - Comedian
15) Five bloggers to be the next "victims"?
You gotta be kidding me....
Like I know 5 bloggers at this time *chuckles ruefully*
I should be evil and send it right back to Neurotic Mom *Grins evilly*
Sighs.
Fine have it your way.....
QuillDancer A Day in the Life ... <- See where commenting gets ya...lol
Gillian Posh-Totty <- this will teach her to rent to me..MUWHAHAHA
Chana Go forth and ... <- Now you have been tagged...go forth and answer..*grins evilly*
Margie Do you have Issues? <- Yes... yes I do. *chuckles*
Frances Just Expressing Myself <- You now must express yourself...you been tagged! *grins*
Friday, September 01, 2006
Posted by Break from Sanity @ 5:30 PM
Yes, it is that time again!
It is FRIDAY, and time to let our hair down and LAUGH!!
Ah that McDonalds way of thinking. Remind me to sit down while running.....
I think that is pointing out the last place my wife and I camped.....
It is really too bad we can't do this!!!
Imagine all the tickets that could be handed out to those that think they are "all that", or God's gift to women....
The signs of Life.
Think of the stories we can tell just from what we see on the roadway with signs!!
Now that we have ended our fun picture time, let us move into a funny or two.....
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
I guess you could call this an Anti-Dumb Blonde Joke..lol
Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmos toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...
Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Hope you laughed hard and long....
It's FRIDAY!!
